Single Mother: My New Boyfriend Has Too Many Women

I turned 50 recently and started a relationship with a man in the same age bracket. I am a widow with kids and he’s never been married in spite of his having kids. He said he’s not the marrying type, but admits he finds it puzzling the way women react to him.

We met at a party and as he toasted me, two women tried to get his attention. It was obvious that he knew them, but he ignored them. Later when he took me home, he bragged that another woman had tried to pick him up, but he told her he was with me.


This has set a pattern for what happens whenever we go out. I’d gone to get meals for us at a party once and before I came back, he was already on the dance floor.

When he came back and I protested, he said the woman asked him to dance.

He then asked me if l did not notice how far away he’d held her. He is always taking women to his flat although he claims nothing happened. It’s obvious he’s a womaniser though he tells me it is only me he wants. Can he be trusted?

A Lagos single mum and widow sent this Aunty Bunmi. Read her reply below:

Dear Madam,
You’re welcome to the intensely competitive world of 50-plus dating! Your boyfriend is having the time of his life. As women age, the number of suitable partners available to them diminishes. As men age too, they dye their hair, grow impotent; for hustling younger women. Any man left standing is a catch and women will flock to him. 

Your man may exaggerate the attention he receives to emphasise his attractiveness to women, boost his ego and send the signal that if you don’t grab him other women will. Your man is enjoying a ‘second change’ youth in which, instead of running after women, they’re doing the running. 

The question really is whether you two are suited and capable of making a complete commitment to each other. So, ask him questions you’Il like answers to, so you could discover whether or not he can offer the type of relationship you crave.  

If you want to take him as he is, however, I’m afraid you have to turn a blind eye to his flirting.