Hilarious! 11 Ways to Spot a Prostitute in Your Locality

A Nigerian writer on social relationships, Tosyne2much has made a list of the common attributes of 'call girls' concealing their identities without the full awareness of the people living among them.


Here are the characteristics of prostitutes and ways to spot them:


1. They usually put on facial make-ups in the evening: 
I trust that I'm not the one that has observed this. They will get dressed in the evening, you will see them apply excessive make-ups looking like Mickey Mouse; and wear perfumes that will be oozing from 100 kilometres away. The next time you will see them is 5am, the next morning, when they are sneaking into the compound. However, they are always going to work when others are returning. That is one of the ways to spot them.

2. They usually chew bubble gum loudly: 
By the way some ladies chew bubble gum, you could probably tell that are into prostitution. They chew bubble gum flirtaciously and audibly and will be speaking Pidgin fluently.

3. They receive calls, every now and then: 
Many of them use expensive phones. They might be using four phones that will have all the Mobile networks in Nigeria. For example, MTN line will be in their Android fone; Zain line will be in their Blackberry fone; Etisalat line will be in their Samsung; and Glo line will be in their Nokia. They will are glued to their phone surfing the web and receiving calls at regular intervals.

4. They barely relate with neighbours: 
Another way to spot them is that they are somewhat isolated and barely relate with their neighbours. You won't even know what they are into

5. They usually wear waist chain and anklets: 
I don't know for other countries, but from my perspective as a Nigerian, ladies who wear anklets and waist chains are somewhat prostitutes or runs babes (though there are execptions). You will see them on okada flashing their waist chain to attract interested "chairmen".

6. Their male visitors always come with cars: 
When a man visits them, be rest assured that he must have a car parked outside. Them no dey roll with broke boys.

7. They dress immorally and irresponsibly: 
'Some of them go carry dia yeye dressing come church of God' just to confused annoited men of God. In my church, ushers are instructed never to allow ladies dressed immorally to occupy the front seat. However, some of them will dress irresponsibly and will be bent on occupying the front seat. This is to throw the annointed pastor into a state of confusion

8. They barely cook: 
I have lived with quite a few of them so I know what I'm talking about. Prostitutes are usually lazy when it comes to cooking, hence, they are regular patronizers of Mr Biggs, Mr. Fans, Sweet Sensation, etc.

9. They always discuss about men and money: 
'As marriage no dey dia agenda, na to dey discuss about men and money sure pass'. Some of them are not hard to bleep as you think. 'Some of dem fit make mouth wella, but don't be surprised that with just N1,000, you will get them laid'.

10. They bear different names: 
They give different names to different chairmen. A man may come visiting today and will ask the neighbours that he's looking for Tracy; tomorrow, another visitor and will say he's looking for Sandra, and vice versa.

11. They have several condoms in their hand bags: 
This reminds me of Anita in our locality who always denied being a prostitute. One day, the skeleton in her cupboard was revealed openly when I mistakenly hit her and when her handbag fell on the floor. The contents spilled and we discovered several brands of condom.